Dr. Fantastic, M.D.

The thoughts, ramblings, philosophies, writings, ideas, presumptions, concoctions, conjurations, conjugations and congregations of one Joel Petrie.

"Caught" - Sample footage

I directed this scene on Saturday- here is a sample of the stuff we got. This is a clip of Elwon playing Gregory


Director: Joel Petrie

Cinematography: Paul Varela

Gregory: Elwon Bakly

Keep an eye out for the entire piece to be added in the next week or so-

Enjoy Responsibly!



Have you ever wished life was a musical and you could just sing away your frustrations? So have we!

This is our entry for the My Comfort My Way video contest! Watch! Rate! Tell your friends! Vote! Enjoy!

Make sure to watch in HD for full viewing pleasure!!!

Directed, Shot and Cut by:
Joel Petrie

Music by:
Logan Kendell

Starring:
Logan Kendell
Jyllian Petrie
Joel Petrie
Walter S. Puppet
Susie Q. Puppet

More of my works... I have too many-


I've found an old play I was working on... I think maybe it is time to finish it-

Its called "Survival Horror: A Guide to Producing Quality Works"

The basic idea of the show is a Narrated step by step guide on how to make a Zombie movie... but its a play- uhmmm....

here's a sample.

Survival Horror: A Guide to Producing Quality Works
by: Joel Petrie

Lights up on 6 young adults, regular people, nothing outstanding about them. BILLY, HEIDI, JOHNNY, KATIE and NICK. They are all lounging about the room as young adults would do in this situation. A lazy vignette.

NARRATOR (cont’d):Rule number two: The audience must identify with the characters. Our target audience is going to be young adults. So, our characters are... young adults. The characters cannot be outstanding in any way. Just, regular people like you and I... Ordinary people in extraordinary situations are far more interesting to watch.

The vignette comes to life.

NICK: Billy... do you know what time Dave is going to get here? I’d like to get going!

Billy is trying to get some luggage up onto a shelf. He’s having a hard time.

BILLY: He’s coming up after work, but knowing him he’ll take all night...

NICK: But I wanna get this party started!

HEIDI: Nick, you are so lame!

NICK: Yeah...

BILLY: Could you help me with this?

Johnny steps forward.

JOHNNY: I got it.

He just so happens to put the luggage up first try.

BILLY: Anyone seen Brittany?

Just then BRITTANY enters from the bedroom door.

BRITTANY: Heidi, Katie... do you have any tampons!?

there is a LOONG awkward pause.


NARRATOR: I guess this would be a good place to tell you “Rule Number Three.” Rule Number Three: Foreshadow, foreshadow, foreshadow!

NICK: Anyone want to go check out that old cemetery out back!?

EVERYONE: Yeah. Of course. Let’s do... etc.

Everyone except Billy and Brittany exit the back door. There is another long awkward pause.


NARRATOR: Rule number four: Always develop a love story.

BRITTANY: I’m schizophrenic!

BILLY: What?

BRITTANY: I found out what’s wrong with me! I’m schizophrenic!

BILLY: Okay...

BRITTANY: My psychiatrist told me. I’ve got a prescription and everything!

BILLY: Have you started it yet?

BRITTANY: I’ll be getting better soon and we’ll be getting back together soon!

BILLY: So... you haven’t started it yet...

BRITTANY: Billy, I promise I’ll be getting better.

BILLY: Brittany, we’ve talked about this before. One; we’ve never dated. Two, I’m not ready for any sort of serious commitment right now... and... you’re crazy... I just don’t think it’ll work...

BRITTANY: Why can’t you be serious!? Just for ONE second.

BILLY: Okay I will... NOTHING WILL EVER HAPPEN BETWEEN US...........EVER!

BRITTANY: Why are you always so serious?

BILLY: AH!

BRITTANY: I’m sure if I were Heidi you’d be acting much differently...

The back door flings open and in storms Katie in a huff.

BILLY: What’s wrong?

KATIE: Besides the fact that Nick is an exhausting jack ass?

BRITTANY: Excuse me, we were having a conversation.

BILLY: What’d he do?

KATIE: Jack ass tried convincing me that a dead cat was trying to come back to life.

BRITTANY: Gross!

BILLY: That’s it?

KATIE: Well that and he’s not responding to any of my sexual advances...

NARRATOR: Foreshadowing AND multiple love stories set up... how do you like them apples?

Joel's Musical Song Post #10 - A Christmas Song!

Another Musical Song Post just in time for christmas!!!! YAY!!!!

This is one of the more heartwarming and thought provoking songs I've ever written- it captures the truest and most meaningful spirit of the holiday season that one can find...

Enjoy Responsibly!

"Othello" Act II, Scene iii - Iago

I recorded myself doing this monologue because I love Shakespeare and have always wanted to play the bad guy in one of his plays...

Enjoy responsibly!

Joel's Musical Song Post - Contest #3

The third official MSP contest has just arrived.

Lighting Test

Don't ask what this video means- I was just testing out some new lights I got... This is just what happened to come out of the process

Joel's Musical Song Post #9 - Hide Who You Are

Bekah Wilbur won the last contest- this is her song... enjoy responsibly!

She is a Make-Up FX artist, this way you might understand the lyrics better

Warfare

This is a short I directed a few years ago- almost 3 to be exact...

It was for a short theater festival that I convinced to let me shoot a film for- the script is student written, the actors are all students and I was a student at the time I directed it...

Jaelan Petrie D.P.'d

It hasn't seen the light of day since then- but hey, enjoy responsibly!

p.s. the budget on this was $25

Three Widows

One from a series of Short films I'm working on!

Monologue Week! Monologue #5

I'm thinking of extending monologue week- because what with Nosferatu and work keeping me busy I haven't had a lot of time to write all the monologues I'd like... as for right now- here is a Shakespeareanesque monologue I wrote last night for my gooood friend Margaret Huntington...

She has this way of getting me to write things that are silly (i.e. I wrote her a Dr. Seuss story about her) and last night she was going off about Shakespeare... and I just spouted out this monologue- (ask me some time to break it down for you) enjoy...

MATTER AT HAND
by: Shakespeara- Joel Petrie

HECTOR: I must not believe in my eyes;
For all that is true has been falsely
Presented here in ten or twelve fold.
Perhaps, sweet Marg'ret- you doth love too much,
Or mayhap I do not love at all.
For the wind and the sun and all the natural element
Will unfold before us creating cover
From underneath god's curtain known as sky.
Our backs cold from the greenery and weed,
Our stomach's warm from sack cloth and inspired works.
As the both of us stare forever into
The back lit canopy of stars; The
Few words I'd utter unto you would
Be so frivolous and full of
Uselessness that i may as well speak into
The sheepskin jerkin I wear round my neck.

Sweet, sweet Margaret
You have unwound me


Monologue Week! Monologue #4

I'm kinda sitting here deciding what I should explore or dive into now- what things are relevant to write about at this moment... and the thought just popped into my head.

Halloween. I'll write a monologue that is horror influenced.

Okay- The play centers around a clearing in a forest outlying a growing town- where teens from 3 generations have found a refuge from the world. Problem is: the clearing puts images and thoughts into the heads of those who fall for its enticing safety.

Vanessa lives in the early 50's. Propriety, social status and gender placement have forced her to find the clearing.

She has brought a friend today-

THE CLEARING
by: Joel Petrie

VANESSA: You want to kiss me. Don't deny it, I saw it in your mind's eye. Stop! Don't look at me like I'm crazy- you're lucky I invited you at all- I'm sorry. I'm not used to quiet boys, shy boys. All I know is boys who take control of the situation- take control me. Tell me what to wear, what to say, how to walk and talk, where to sit, how to eat, what to drink- they try to tell me who I AM! You don't want to kiss me anymore. That's alright. You will again. Because I'm going to let you. I'm in control now.

Monologue Week! Monologue #3

This one is merely a simple, straightforward conversation a man has on the phone... nothing weird or odd about this one at all.

PINS AND NEEDLES
by: Joel Petrie

ETHAN: Give me two good reasons I shouldn't roll you into traffic: you're crippled? Ya- aaand? A- uh- priest? How the hell did you become- never mind. Being handicapped and a man of god still doesn't give you the right to talk about my mother that way! I don't even care if she was the one that put you in that chair- she's my mother, and you're going to treat her as such. Uh huh... ya... no... ya... uh huh... you know- for a priest you've got a mouth on you... oh okay- so tell me this! did you or did you not try to... uhm... you know... YOU know... did... did...did you try to fondle her butt cheek!? (getting a sickly look on his face) Okay... that's it... you've crossed the line- (indicating with hand) I'm coming to find you your holiness and I bring with me a wrath! "Vengeance belongeth unto me, I WILL recompense, saith the Lord!" ... Right... well you'll find out exactly when I'm shoving that wheelchair so far up your- hello? (drops phone to side) son of a- (calls off stage) Mom! Do you know a Father Roberts!?

Monologue Week! Monologue #2

This is a monologue from my phone written play- I kind of enjoy it- I'm not really exploring anything with this except that the character may be hiding something while being questioned about the disappearance of a girl who had stayed at her house while in this small town on the coast of Ireland.

CHURCH BELLS
by: Joel Petrie

SYNTHIA:Its a touch spooky in here, isn’t it? Uhmm... every time I meet someone new, I uh- well I try to befriend them- that isn’t so wrong is it? If someone is hungry, I feed them. They need a place to stay I have more than enough room. Both in my house and my heart... She was no different than anyone else... well she was. She was more than different. She was- uhm... I am not quite sure why I was so compelled to help... She was different.

Monologue Week! Monologue #1

So, I'm on a monologue writing kick for the time being- so, starting today- I'm going to be posting monologue's I am writing...

This first one I wrote while at IHOP- don't know where it came from. I just wanted to explore a little into a person's psyche- to me its much more scary to not know why someone is doing something than it is to see what it is they are doing. (a slasher film will usually lose me the moment they explain why the killer is killing- I'm guessing they tell us to make us feel more at ease about what just happened)

Anyway- it might just be my inner villain coming out... or maybe... my inner hero... something to think about.

VIGILANT
by: Joel Petrie

GREGORY: What do you think it is? What motivates me? Money? Girls? Maybe a childhood tragedy- "Uncle Gerald and I played doctor and now I'm so messed around upstairs I can't control my actions..." Maybe I'm lashing out at society for all the shit she gave me! Oh- that's the second time I mentioned the opposite sex! It must be that- broken heart, picked on by the girls, unloved, jealous a manic depressive who's up shit's creek without a paddle and begging for MORE! AAH! aah...It doesn't matter what I say though- you'll draw your conclusions, if you haven't already- you NEED the answer. You need to understand so as not to end up like me. Except- I know precisely why I do what I do. Listen- before you go- I want to present you with one more inquiry... What exactly is it that I do? If you can explain that to me... I'll tell you why.

Nosferatu

I'm Tech. Directing a production of F.W. Murnau's Nosferatu at Utah Valley University and they have started a sort of production blog for the actor's and crew to write about their experiences thus far on the show- you should check it out and learn more about this landmark production (something that has never been done on this continent)

Check it out! UVU's Nosferatu

Update on a phone play...

Remember how I said I was writing a play- entirely on my phone...? I do.

Well- here's a sample of how its goin': Tentatively I'm calling it "A Priest, A Widow and A Foreigner..."




SCENE ONE

A hot light hits a square, metal table that is holding a tape recorder, a lamp and an ashtray. Smoke wafts from that ashtray- wafts into the eyes of the man sitting behind it.

This man hasn't slept in quite some time- his bloodshot, swelling eyes are proof of this. His clothes give little away about who he is- maybe just how he is... a sweater and tie perhaps.

He's quiet spoken for an Irishman. He's Campbell-

CAMPBELL: I get it. I do. I am not the most looked up to man in the area. But that's my job. My calling. (beat) I call a spade a spade and a sinner a sinner. If he doesn't like it he can change his ways or leave the church- It doesn't matter to me- I'm not here to save anyone- I'm here for those who want to be saved. (beat) I don't think she wanted to be saved. Just- You know what I think? I think that people couldn't stand the sight of us. And I do not blame them- we shouldna tried keeping what we- (beat) I canna even look at the building without feeling her hand in mine.

A different light raises now- not so hot, colder... Much colder... winter.


Dressed appropriately - a young, normal looking woman, normal looking but beautiful to some- stands staring up above us- she is in awe of something. Campbell speaks from the dark and joins her side.

CAMPBELL: She's over a thousand years old.

GIRL: She?

CAMPBELL: (smiling) Ay, all beautiful buildings are feminine.

GIRL: Wow. Wasn't that smooth?

CAMPBELL: I guess it was- you're American?

GIRL: No.

CAMPBELL: No?

GIRL: I'm Canadian.

CAMPBELL: Really?

GIRL: No.

CAMPBELL: Cute.

GIRL: Thanks.

They now stand in silence. Each waiting for the other to speak first.

CAMPBELL: What brings you to these hallowed grounds?

GIRL: Boredom.

CAMPBELL: (he laughs) I hate to break this to you but church isn't all too exciting...

GIRL: Yes. But I was cooped up in my room. Hopped a plane then a bus- found my way on to a mail truck and this is where I am.

CAMPBELL: (smiling) I am so terribly sorry.

GIRL: I'm not. Its perfect.

CAMPBELL: Ay, it is isn't it?

A deep clang of church bells.

CAMPBELL: That's my cue.

GIRL: Wait. What's your name?

CAMPBELL: Campbell.

GIRL: Is that a first name?

CAMPBELL: Most people call me Father.

GIRL: Oh. (beat) Good to meet you.

She removes her glove and shakes his hand. He notices how soft the skin of her hands are... nothing creepy though.

CAMPBELL: Ay, I hope to see you around.

He almost makes it off stage-

GIRL: Father Campbell!

CAMPBELL: Yes?

GIRL: Do you usually flirt with foreigners?

CAMPBELL: ...no... I don't think so.

They both smile at this. And now we're back at that dreadful hot light and table. Somebody new is sitting behind it. I wonder who it is-

My brother has tied the proverbial knot.

Whelp- Jaelan, my older brother, the one above Jordan and below Jenna in the age range of siblings, is married. That's right, he finally went through with it! And as a joke on me- he had me do a "Tribute to Marriage" at the wedding- and in true form I wrote it ten minutes before being called up to speak... and it slew! slayed? slayn? killed!

I'm waiting until I can see a copy of the video - so I can give you a true, word for word transcript of how I actually said things- because to be perfectly honest... I don't remember- kind of a blur.

So... watch for that-

a novel idea

I am writing a play. On my phone.

New Sunset/Death Logline...

Three quarters of the population of the world has disappeared and Grady, an everyman, is left isolated and guilty.

Set in the remote back roads of a deserted nation, Grady's journey brings him face to face with life threatening situations coupled with a list of unique characters that steer him on his journey- and in his struggle to live vs. his willingness to go on.


What does life matter to a person inflicted with the internal perspective of insignificance?


What do you think?

A close an' intimate union.

Until recently I's been unda da impression dat it would be pertinent to da success a my ongoin' endeavors to find a partna in crime.

I's used to t'ink dat if I'm gonna to be taken down: d'are best be some unsuspectin' schlo'mo to take wit' me...

I aint goin' dis alone!

So- I soyched for dat poyson- left an' right- up an' down- backs an' fort. I's looked so hard that my aforementioned "endeavors" began lackin'. Success in dis woyld a mine is eva' loomin'- But I's aint found it on account a dat undyin' soych for a numba dos.

Well, you's prolly t'inkin' to yo'se'f- if you jest stop lookin'... that no good, dirty rottin', banana griftin', son-of-a bees knees will most likely find d'are way ta you- its da way a da woyld. D'are's no way ta choose who's gonna be willin' to take a bullet fors ya.

Trute be told- yous prolly correct in that assumption. IF I's was wantin' a partna in crime, still.

Ya see- as I watched myself becomin' a useless schlub an' all da opulence a dis woyld slippin' troo my finga's on account a said schlubbyness- I cames to da real-i-zation dat if I's gonna be numba uno- I's gotsta go it alone.

I aint neva' gettin' married.

Imagine2

I did this cover of a song today... for the fun of it...

Imagine2.mp3

My Little Room.

My little door looks out on youth, beauty, rebellion, compulsion and obsession. All Captive.

My little window sees the same, but not. Outside not in.

My little corner is mine. The threat of the outside close at hand. Halted by the twist of brass.

The top 3 "Terrible Movies" I want to make knowing full well that they're going to be terrible...

Its a long title but I couldn't really condense it and get my meaning across properly... They aren't the "Top 5 movies I want to make" by a long shot- and I don't want to make terrible movies... if that makes sense.

ANYway- what we're looking at here is a list of these terrible films, a short description, and why I want to make it... starting with number 5!

#3 - DEATH FACTORY
"Five strangers trapped in the halls of an abandoned textile factory are hunted by evil and haunted by their past."

So- you may have read in my previous post why I'm writing this- but- as I write- I realize how badly I want to make the movie as well... You know- so it doesn't come across as terrible as one of the many terrible SciFi channel directors would make it.

Don't get me wrong, it'll still be über terrible, but just- in that fun kind of terrible sense of the word.

#2 - Return of the Living Dead Part III
"Back from the dead and hungry for more."
(Secret Military compounds, hobos and zombies... need more be said?)

You're asking yourself right now- why in the shizzle would this man want to RE-make a terribly terrible film!?

Actually, you're probably not asking yourself that because you're probably wondering to yourself if a movie like RotLDp3 has actually been made in the first place! Well, I'm here to tell you that it has and when I sat on my parents couch that cold October evening watching this movie I realized- with different direction the movie could actually have a lot of heart (especially the Riverman's monologue) and some extremely cheap scares...

I dunno- it would be a blast on and off the set!

#1 - 101 ways to wok your dog."Kung Fu stir fry has NEVER tasted so good..."

I'm going to be 100% honest with you right now... I have no story for this one yet- just concept: Kung Fu film... the only reason I want to make this movie is because of the title.

Who wouldn't watch a Kung Fu movie with this name!?

Alright- that's my list. Maybe someday when I am in the midst of making good movies I can throw some of these in. Who knows?

Some aspirations worth considering...

So- I've always been enamored with the SciFi Channel... But most particularly its terrible terrible movie franchise.

Movies so completely and utterly not worth watching- they're worth watching twice.

So, now that my real screenplay is finally finished and as we push forward on trying to get it produced and put into play around festivals... I decided that I am going to work on a script for this channel that provides hours and days of ubiquitous, asinine entertainment.

I've set myself a few rules when writing it:

-it cannot be too smart, but it must be slightly smarter than what they produce if I want a shot of selling it to them.

-I must limit myself on the grandeur and scale to fit within the SciFi Channel universe.

-it needs to be fast paced, tense and most of all fun.

-Last but not least- it needs to feel like a SciFi Channel Original Movie, right down to the title.


SO! In light of this new project- I am going to post the "Teaser" from the script I have chosen to write... give me your feedbacks- thoughts... etc.

THANKS!

DEATH FACTORY
(working title)
Story by: Elwon Bakly & Joel Petrie
Written by: Joel Petrie

Darkness- Gears break into life- rusty metal clinks and an off cadence.

A deep rumble insists behind what seems to be shallow, forced breaths, wheezing in time with the beat of the gears-

INT. ABANDONED FACTORY- LOADING DOCK - NIGHT

A pair of beautiful blue eyes, filled with fear, stare up from cold concrete. This is the source of the breathing.

She is paralyzed. Nothing binds her.

The machine next to her churns and spits sparks- threatening to burn her.

Her eyes gaze down to her hand-

Her fingers twitch- her arm struggles and lifts. the noise is now becoming too loud to be bearable.

After more struggle- the rest of her follows- She makes it to her feet and just like that, the noise stops.

No sound now- just her breathing- which stops.

BEAUTIFUL EYED GIRL
...hello...?

In some distant part of the factory the deep moan of bending steel is her reply. Then- An unearthly bawl. Her breathing starts again.

Another moan of steel and unearthly wail- this time it is not so distant- the machines start again with their clink- matching the rhythm of her of her respiration.

She is startled- she runs.

Machines and electronics all roar to life as she passes- she finds herself in-

INT. ABANDONED FACTORY- MAIN HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS

The hallway is long, narrow and promising freedom- at the far end the doors are open and fresh air pours in.

To her though, it seems miles away.

The exit sign blinks on.

The scream is almost upon her! She runs! She runs toward freedom- toward the door!

The hallway grows longer and longer- the door apparently never getting any closer.

She becomes dizzy- falling to the floor, only inches from the exit-

She tries to stand but cannot.

Her breathing is faster- the noise- the bending steel- the wail- all overwhelming her.

She sees something coming down the hall after her- she is choking on her own scream-

The exit sign blinks off.

OPENING CREDITS: a series of gruesome and mechanical titles

Gun Flash Test

I am honing my skills in the post - production fields... and I wanted to try this out...

I noticed that Hollywood has been painting the flashes in for years... as early as Guns of Navarone that I've seen...

Shot with HVX200
Edited on Final Cut Pro

Prince Caspian: A quick review


Let me start by saying- You should see this movie. If nothing else they'll make the rest of them!

Okay- to start:

I don't know how I feel about the parallels to the Iraqi war in this film. I understand why they did it next! (Chronologically Boy and his Horse is next, but they're probably not doing that one) I just don't know how appropriate it was to do that with a famous, "classic", literary work.

Unless of course that was the original intent (i.e. Germany's occupation of Europe) - I mean I guess that's why these books are classic, because they are timeless and CAN be paralleled to the events of today and tomorrow... you know how history repeats itself and all... but again, was it necessary what with all sorts of movies already being made in that vein. I dunno, something to think about.

As for the actors:

As expected, Georgie Henley (Lucy) was adorable - any discrepancies I saw were NOT her fault so much as her direction or the editors choice of take.

The rest of the cast were also strong - Ben Barnes (Caspian) was (for lack of a better word) "dreamy" - Not kidding, I have not met one female who has seen it (or just seen the trailer for that matter) who hasn't wanted him to sweep into they're bedroom in the middle of the night and steal them into the dark recesses of the Narnian forest. (He acted his roll a touch stiffly, but it worked for the character)

Anna Popplewell (Susan)- well, she's über purdy... oh and she can act! tee hee - uhmm... I could have used a bit more sexual tension between her and Caspian or none at all- it was far too "in between" for my liking (she didn't think he was as dreamy as the rest of the world) again- this isn't so much her fault as the direction or take selection.

William Moseley (Peter) did well... he did... I just wish he was given a bit more than "angst" to work with.

But who really surprised me pleasantly was Skandar Keynes (Edmund) His growth amazed me, I wish oh so wished he had a much bigger part in the film - wowzers!

Followed by some extremely strong performances by the rest of the ensemble, including a pleasant surprise in seeing The Station Agent's Peter Dinklage, LOVE him as an actor.

and my final props go to Sergio Castellitto (Mraz) he had depth to the coldness he portrayed as the villain. That's always nice.

As for the movie:

I just kinda feel they should have taken more time on the script and the direction. Don't get me wrong the Art (costumes, camera, sets, etc) was perfect! The action!? don't get me started on the action- SO good!

But that's not what Narnia is to me - I've never read the books so I can't compare, but the first movie, well the first movie took me on a camping trip to talk about something important, then it slapped me in the face and told me to go home and think about things a little while.

While this movie sorta just got me all excited for prom, took me to a really fancy restaurant for dinner and then told me to stick to the left side of the menu- it left me wanting more, but not that: "ooh I can't wait for the sequel!!" kind of wanting, but the: "...I don't order this soup here - because they don't make it the same as my Mom does." kind of wanting.

It wasn't terrible, I didn't hate it at all! I just wish they would have taken a little more time and put a little more love into it.

The Greatest Movies You've Never Seen...

Topping off my list I'm going to start with a movie you haven't seen most likely because of poor advertising-

Snow Falling On Cedars - Apparently they thought that because it was masterfully shot, emotionally written and skillfully put together that the world wouldn't want to see it. This must have been when they must have decided to market it as a touching and dripping love story that spans the ages- its not- if anything its a Courtroom movie with loving undertones. The following is how it was advertised-

This is what the movie is really like- (its 6 minutes long but very good I promise)


The next movie I'm throwing at you is a foreign film that I PROMISE you haven't heard of (unless I've told you about it)

Flickering Lights (Blinkende lygter) - The darkest comedy I have ever seen- also one of the most uplifting movies as well; A Danish film about a band of best friends and criminals turning their lives around while opening a restaurant. FANTASTIC! (this clip doesn't have subtitles- but it still works)

Okay- we're rolling now. Next- You haven't heard of this one because you never browse the video shelves... I mean seriously browse the video shelves...jerk.


Happy, Texas - Steve Zahn is one of two escaped cons who have to pretend to be a couple of gay, little miss junior pageant planners in a small town in Texas - ENOUGH said.


The Way of the Gun - if you liked No Country for Old Men but want an ending. This is the movie for you- with a lovely cameo from Sarah Silverman (if you don't like her- you'll LOVE this cameo) Gun is that kind of movie that if released this year- well- watch it... (WARNING: this scene is a little brutal)


Dog Soldiers - Have you ever walked through the Horror section of your local blockbuster, just- making fun of the different titles and concepts of the RIDICULOUS movies gracing its shelves? Well, I used to- I also used to rent a movie just because I thought it was going to be terrible...

That is how I saw Dog Soldiers. Let me tell you something- This was one of the best cinematic mistakes I have ever made- this British produced film is one of the most solid pieces of independent film making I have ever seen - I LOVE LOVE LOVE the screenplay for this one actually... (I'm sorry- this trailer does NOT do the film any justice... but its all I could find)


Well- that's my short list- I'll continue this- soon.

Sunset/Death - A synopsis

We're trying for investment on a film- here is a synopsis:

When a common "mindset" becomes a reality, Grady, an everyman, is left isolated and guilty. Set in a hauntingly familiar alternate reality, he encounters complex and life threatening situations that test the very thing that makes us who we are. Everyday his struggle to live battles his willingness to go on.

What does life matter to a person inflicted with the internal perspective of insignificance?

I know I haven't written in a long long time- so- tell me what you think!

It is late at night.

I've decided to go on a walk. Its cold and there's a light snow. A man drives by and gives me a funny look- As I walk it becomes harder and harder to move my legs, as if I'm walking up a steep hill- my legs become tired- its so hard to move by the end that I have to use fences, lamposts and treest to continue forward (but this is only this bad as I'm finding out the news)

I then get a text message from Kyle Fotheringham that states "The girl it seems you want to marry is standing right next to me and it seems she wants to marry the guy she's with, and lake seems to be light as a feather because of it". The last bit confuses me mildly- then there is a follow up text that says "I meant Jake not lake seems to be light as a feather because of it" (predictive text messed up his name apparently)

So I call Kyle, there's lots of noise in the background- and music. I ask "So she's acting like she's married to Jake?" Kyle says "Yes, she's flirting with him and there's continual sexual references" I say "She's not kissing him is she?" "Oh no- yea she is" comes the very Kyle-like reply.

"Oh- excuse me, I'll call you right back" My voice is calm, quick. I'm filled with heart-broken rage.

I call her immediately- Under her breath as if she's talking to me but doesn't want me to hear, but I do, she mutters "Would you just leave me alone?" then "yeah?" the same music and noise fills the background.

"Kyle just told me everything" I say. "So, why would I care?" she replies.

I recount what he said very fast so she can't interrupt. My legs work now, I've found a field of rare white orchids- my fist wraps around the stem of one and proceeds to destroy it- my voice feels a bit shaky, panicked and stressed.

When I finish, without any thought or regard to what I had just said, she finishes the conversation- "Okay, well I'll see you later then?"

"No- what!?" I'm in an Orchard. Destroyed orchid in my hand.

"Goodbye!" Her voice is exceptionally cheerful. My pain is unimaginable.

I wake up.

I send you the text.

I can't get back to sleep.

This Year's Goal:


I need to Direct a movie.

Not a short.

Not a music video.

Not even a television episode.

A movie.

From the moment I discovered movies- which was before I can even remember- I'm sure I was still just a baby- I've wanted to work in film...

I never wanted to be a fireman, astronaut, policeman or even cowboy. I wanted to make movies. (even though for a few months after seeing the movie Jurassic Park I was interested in Paleontology as a 'back-up'...but I digress-)

When I was 11 I decided on my first career path: Stuntman. I took Karate, I taught myself to tumble, to take a punch, to throw a punch- by the time I was 14 I could run up walls and do a back flip (I'm probably too "pleasantly plump" now, but when I get back into shape!).

I could be realistically and safely hit by cars at 15 and the joy of staging realistic looking 'brawls' in parking lots and shopping malls never really left me until after high school.

I had been working, since I was 12 for a small video game company known as Shoqwave Multimedia (THANK YOU the internet archive for showing it from when I worked there... check out what it is today at www.shoqwave.com)

My job was to create interesting and unique backdrops for levels on a video game being made in the tradition of Myst and Riven.

Well, one day- the owner of the company handed me a video tape with all of our works cut to music. really cheesy slide-show presentation style- but what captured my attention was not how much better my backdrops were than anyone else's- but the fact that he had put it together on a Computer. He had EDITED A MOVIE ON A COMPUTER!

That's the moment I decided what I wanted to be- I didn't know it yet- but I had decided it.

Shortly after that I was in high school- I was 16 and I was taking a classe in the multimedia- just to get me close to the editing stations- it wasn't long before I rarely left the editing room-

In fact, don't tell my parents, but I would oft miss my classes to cut together a short film or PSA or to watch a movie on the big screen in the corner- which was in essence- my big screen.

I spent the majority of my senior year cutting the graduation video behind a castle of Dr. Pepper cans in a dark corner of the room... I spent so much time there they practically gave me a key!

Hell, I met my first official girlfriend in that editing lab. My first exposure to Napster and free music was there. Live television and broadcast news- Editing with headphones- even my first rival spawned from that noisy little room-

That room of Apple Computer's is where I learned to make movies. Its where I taught myself the technical side of film.

The first film I ever edited was- without a doubt- crap. There were maybe 5 different camera angles in the film- But- I'm thankful for the film- it was a HUGE learning experience-

how? how could you have learned from crap?
you ask. I'll tell you.

The first lesson I ever learned as an editor was simple: You can't edit something if there's nothing to edit.

We had 5 shots that went in order from beginning of movie to end. Not a whole lot to edit together- not something that'd really build my editing muscle- So- the next project we did- I made sure we got more coverage- stuff to play with at the editing bench. Different angles etc.

This film was also crap. But this time I recognized that the new coverage was there- but it didn't cut together well because it didn't look right- it wasn't framed properly... which taught me as a camera man- over time- with practice- how to do that!

Every project taught me something new and became a platform to practice what I'd already learned: "hey- its framed well but the acting is weird-" so I learned eventually how to get a performance- "I've got a performance, but what they're saying is off-" it helped my writing. "what they're saying is right- but I can't hear it" -fixed the sound.

It has gone on like this for years- Lighting, sound, camera, acting, writing, art direction, costume- its how I learned to make movies. Every new skill building into a sort of mountain shaped skill set- with editing being my base...

It wasn't until just recently- within the last few years- that I realized I wasn't building a mountain towards being a good film maker per say... I was putting the tools together to tell a good story. All the pieces of a puzzle creating the big picture-

8 years ago, I decided I was going to be storyteller. I didn't know it until now. But I had decided it.

So, this year, and I mean this year- I want to direct a movie- not a short- not a music video- not even an episode of TV.

A movie.

Something new...

This is a paper I wrote for a Digital Media class to make up for the month of school I missed for work- I kinda wrote it in half hour- so its sloppy, but I make some personal points in it.

Work on a Reality Show

This year has been an interesting one for me in the professional world. I went through a dry spell of almost 6 months without work. I had to get myself a ‘real’ job to pay the bills.

Then all of the sudden- I started getting hit with work left and right... ALL at the same time- First some really good friends of mine who had been working on a documentary were thrown the funding to shoot two infomercials, I was hired immediately as camera op. and editor- then, the owner of my job decided to start throwing me Assitant Director work on a couple of international commercial shoots he was doing... shortly after he was hired to head up production on the reality show- which, he almost immediately hired me to run camera on.

The point being- One of the main things I’ve noticed about the film/television industry is that- no matter what level you’re at- Work is sporadic. Work is hard to find, unless you know someone and is constantly changing: each of the jobs I had were completely different pay grades for almost the exact same amount of work.

“The Prodigy”

November 6, 2007, 5:00 am. I had been up the entire night working on the first cut of an infomercial in order to have it done before I hopped in a van that would drive me to the airport which would be departing from Salt Lake City and flying to San Diego with a layover in Vegas.

I finished the cut, burned it to DVD, dropped it into the producers mailbox and drove home to pack my bags for the 2 weeks to come. I was going on a cruise. This wasn’t any old cruise though, this was an all expense paid 8 day ride on a cramped boat with 300-400 drunk, rich, 20-30 year old’s, ‘celebrating’ the summer of work they had completed, selling door-to-door for an upstart security systems company... A company who also happened to be funding a ‘reality’ based television competition designed basically as a ‘publicity stunt’ to boost sales and more importantly- recruit salesman.

Things began as normal- as soon as we reached the Vegas airport I was handed an envelope with a per diem (which I later realized, was paid for out of the producers pocket, not the production budget)- we hopped on the plane and made it to San Diego where immediately off the plane the cameras were unloaded and filming had begun- B roll of the airport- contestants loading onto buses. etc.

The following 8 days consisted of a few things... Early mornings, long days, sunburns, late nights, early mornings, long days sunburns, etc. etc.

The boat was cramped and we had to keep all our equipment with us at all times. 6lbs camera (we shot on the Canon XH A1, perhaps the worst camera I have ever worked with) 30lbs of lenses, tape, batteries, lenses, tripod, etc. We would follow contestants from one end of the boat to the other, from the bottom to the top decks.

Crew wise we had: 3 production coordinators to keep track of what was being filmed, 4 camera operators to capture the image and 8 producers to make sure that all that work was actually getting done. Pretty much a normal production.

As for the production- that was a really interesting process... one of the most interesting I’ve been on: Diva attitudes would shift shooting schedules and cause drama- which although good for the screen, was hell for us as cameramen. For THREE days in a row we had early morning call, be set up for the big ‘welcome’ shoot and for THREE days in a row, contestants would flake out, assuming they were too good for the show.

With only one day off the entire time- I slowly came to a realization and vowed never to go on a cruise again.

But I digress, There were two days ashore- one of which was my day off, the other- which was supposed to actually be a second day off but at the last minute it was decided to be a shooting day- but a minimal one. One camera per group.

I drew the short straw.

Meanwhile, those 8 producers I was referred to had no idea which group of them were in charge- see, there were 3 production companies involved in the filming of this production, One, was the company that was hired out of Utah that hired the second company that hired me, the third company was a company out of New York (they did that reality show about putting pageant winners in the same house).

Now, they finally came together on the boat and they ALL assumed that the other company was in charge. So for an entire week, I sat and watched as each group waited to receive orders so I, in turn, could be told what to do.

For that first week- us camera men and our boss made the decisions- we’re the only reason anything got shot. The only reason.

Anyway, the cruise finally ended and we prepped for the elimination rounds, see- I found out part way through the cruise that the hours, literally HOURS of footage we had shot would be cut down to an entire half episode (the episodes were only going to be half hour episodes)... I don’t know about anyone else- but- there’s getting enough coverage- and there’s getting FAR FAR FAR too much coverage.

The cruise ended- we’re preparing for elimination rounds. This is the point that we brought Paul Varela on to shoot- and I know for a fact that he’s got his own unique take on the experience- the elimination rounds were 2 days, two different contests. The first was a door-to-door sales contest; The 3 contestants to sell the least product- were eliminated. This was the day that really brought a few things to head... for one, there was the moral issue that a number of us camera operators had with the concept of door-to-door sales. Its something that has always made me a bit uncomfortable, something I as a person would never do and have vowed never to do. But, I was hired to do a job- I couldn’t really take a moral look at it. I mean, I’M not the one driving a useless product on someone who doesn’t even need it in the first place. I’M not the one being pushy and rude and repetitive and an annoyance to people who are just trying to enjoy their afternoon. I’m not involved, I’m a fly on the wall, right?

“The Dilemma”

This was a good opportunity to see if I had it in me. Too see if I could do what it takes to be in this industry- I mean... its virtually impossible to keep 100% of your values in tact when wanting to be successful in this business. Okay, Okay... don’t read that wrong- there are things I will never take a part in, certain things I would make a stand on. Its the little things- i.e. door-to-door sales- something that isn’t going to tear and eat at my soul. But, it is something I’m morally opposed to... if that makes sense.

So, the question was- would I be able to look past my little annoyances and do a job? How much do I care about success?

The answer? Not enough to break my values, but enough to choke down my complaints and whines and to just do it.

I love film too much to let stupid people ruin it for me.

The second contest was a philanthropy contest. THIS was considerably easier to do- we followed some of the best salesman in the world as they trod from their comfort zones and helped people in need- It was actually quite heart warming- quite amazing what they pulled off. I guess it goes to show that, if you weather the storm- you’re bound to see blue skies.

All in all it was a good experience. I learned a TON. I met good people. I made a connection that will turn out to be INVALUABLE in the future (all I can say is:”HBO television series”)- It was a job that has generated a numerous amount of other jobs. It was worth it.

Anyway, to make a long story short- The whole production, the whole process- it was controlled chaos. Pretty much a normal production.

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