Dr. Fantastic, M.D.

The thoughts, ramblings, philosophies, writings, ideas, presumptions, concoctions, conjurations, conjugations and congregations of one Joel Petrie.

Monologue Week! Monologue #3

This one is merely a simple, straightforward conversation a man has on the phone... nothing weird or odd about this one at all.

PINS AND NEEDLES
by: Joel Petrie

ETHAN: Give me two good reasons I shouldn't roll you into traffic: you're crippled? Ya- aaand? A- uh- priest? How the hell did you become- never mind. Being handicapped and a man of god still doesn't give you the right to talk about my mother that way! I don't even care if she was the one that put you in that chair- she's my mother, and you're going to treat her as such. Uh huh... ya... no... ya... uh huh... you know- for a priest you've got a mouth on you... oh okay- so tell me this! did you or did you not try to... uhm... you know... YOU know... did... did...did you try to fondle her butt cheek!? (getting a sickly look on his face) Okay... that's it... you've crossed the line- (indicating with hand) I'm coming to find you your holiness and I bring with me a wrath! "Vengeance belongeth unto me, I WILL recompense, saith the Lord!" ... Right... well you'll find out exactly when I'm shoving that wheelchair so far up your- hello? (drops phone to side) son of a- (calls off stage) Mom! Do you know a Father Roberts!?

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