Dr. Fantastic, M.D.

The thoughts, ramblings, philosophies, writings, ideas, presumptions, concoctions, conjurations, conjugations and congregations of one Joel Petrie.

Descendant of wolves... or... lunatics... whichever...

A year a so ago I learned something about myself and my heritage that really, spoke to me, really gave me a sense of history and most importantly, gave me a great ice-breaker, party story or "something interesting" to tell about me when introducing myself to a new class...

"Hi, I'm Joel Petrie and I'm a werewolf." some of the class may chuckle, others may roll their eyes, but all are curious as to how I'm going to back-up this most preposterous of claims. "Well, let me explain..." I'd continue, and at this point I'd pretty much have everyone's unaltered attention (except for those of a particular ADHD persuasion.) Pretty good for a one sentence introduction don't you think?

"...as you all probably know, every legend and myth is most likely born from some kind of fact..." They most likely didn't know this, or even had thought of this, but no one is going not going to interject for the fear of coming across uneducated. "...I mean even if that fact is centuries old, right?" at this point one or two would nod in agreement. "Okay, for example, almost every culture in the world has some sort of rudimentary legend of a dragon or dragons, right?" Most everyone nods at this. "Why do you think that is?" I give them maybe half a second to think about it. "Well, most likely it stems from some sort of creature that used to live amongst humans waaaay back in the day." I get a confused look.

"...okay... many myths and legends are stories that are passed down from generation to generation, from father to son, mother to daughter, etc. etc.... well, going off the same principle as the 'telephone game' what was once a story of a man killing a large... say... crocodile, now, after generations of exaggeration, mis-interpreting and just plain taking liberty... has become a story of a knight in shining armor rescuing a fair maiden from the clutches of a fifty foot, stone-scaled, acid breathing black dragon!" Now, after this rough explanation, most of the room understands what I'm trying to say (except for those with a particular narrow minded persuasion)


"Well, that same principle applies to me being a werewolf." Again, confused looks. "Well, the story of werewolves started waaaaay back in the day... ever heard of 'lunacy'?" Nod(s). "well it isn't just a fancy name for crazy, it's actually named for a specific bout of crazy that only seemed to happen around a full moon." At this point, one, or if you're in a particularly bright crowd, two faces light up with the realization of where my story is going. "See where I'm going?" Confusion. "My ancestors on my dad's mom's side were known for a few things ... they had a tendency to become rather 'aggressive' around full moons... and they were hairy." Chuckles. "King George III, the one that went crazy? Yeah, related to him. Most people don't know that he was a hairy sunuvagun to boot!" Now even more faces light up. "Our family also has a hereditary leaning towards fangs... my little sister got to keep hers, but my mom, in an effort to hide my proud bloodline, had the dentist remove mine..."

"Anyway, things back in the day were explained by the supernatural, and less by science, so when an abnormally hairy and crazy guy would run around at the time of a full moon, the only explanation people could come up was lycanthropy... 'shorely brutha mahtin, brutha fransiss t'were poisoned verily by the fangs of yon wulf who howlest at yon lunar disc...' Then comes the 'telephone' part of it and of course hollywood and voila! You know what werewolves have become..." This is the part of the story where everyone is nodding in agreement and someone starts asking asinine questions which I do my best to blow off, the teacher seems a little annoyed because I took up 15 minutes of class with my explanation... you know... "Well, that's my something interesting about me..."

P.s. have I mentioned the other side of my family helped originate the term 'blackmail'? That's probably another story for another time...

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